Let’s take a walk for a second. 

Our walk today is going to be around a very popular store that most know for buying scented accents for your home. I’m talking about the one and only Bath and Body Works. 

We all know what it feels like to walk into the store. You’re either really excited or extremely overwhelmed with everything going on.

Nonetheless, your curiosity is sparked. You begin walking around the store and you gravitate towards certain lotions or candles based on labels, jars, and colors. 

You start to sniff out what speaks to you most, whether it be a clean, airy scent or a stronger, muskier scent. 

Some shoppers go as far as looking at burn times to see how long the candle will last them. After all, the longer the candle can burn, the longer the flame lasts and you can reap the benefits of the adored scent. 

After you’ve found your match, you check out at the register, and rush home to get cozy on your couch and light up your new candle. You sit back and relax after it’s been lit, just to notice the flame quickly going out. You get up to light it again, just for the same thing to happen again. After a few attempts of lighting the candle, the wick is finally able to sustain the flame and hold it for some time. 

I recently had this thought about quick flames versus slow burns, mostly within the lens of new relationships, but it can apply to other areas of life as well. 

Similar to the attempts of quickly lighting the candle out of initial excitement and impatience, how often do we try to impose our own wants within new relationships? Think about it. You meet someone, hit it off really well, and put in every single bit of energy you have only for it to result in a quick flame. 

This can bring some aspects of disappointment, but also the thoughts of what could have been done differently. That’s not to say that we can control everything that happens to us, but we can control how quickly and often we choose to “light the candle.” 

Do you approach this in a rushed and forced mindset? Or are you patient enough to see if it withstands? 

It’s understandable that when we want something so badly, our patience wears thin and we can’t accept anything less than what our timelines look like. 

What would it look like for you to work towards a long lasting slow burn instead of a quick flame? Not just in relationships, but in all things you’re working towards. 

Would you give yourself a bit more patience with your workout goals, knowing that progress takes time and is not overnight? Would it be easier to stick to daily habits towards a financial goal that ultimately makes a big difference? 

It’s very easy to look outside of ourselves and notice everyone else’s progress that seems so fast and easy, but always remember that sustainable success wasn’t made with the efforts of a quick win. No burning fire that was long lasting was made with the efforts of a quick flame.