The New Year brings resolutions, Thanksgiving brings gratitude, and birthdays? I guess it’s different for everyone depending on the person.

I have friends that go all out for birthdays and will celebrate all month. I also have friends who don’t really celebrate their birthdays at all and are pretty lowkey about it. Both options aren’t wrong, but they do lack the sense of tradition that comes with every other celebratory day. 

Birthday celebrations can vary based on personality, age, and many other factors. I’ve definitely had years where I felt like I wanted to go all out for my birthday, and other years where it felt like any other day. This birthday felt like the latter for many reasons. Like many other 20 something year olds, there comes this pressure with comparing yourself to where you think you ought to be in life. People in this age range are doing different things, so everyone’s goals and aspirations vary greatly. Apart from this, everyone’s life experiences vary as well. The past year for me came with a lot of spiritual and emotional growth, whereas for someone else it could have been a year where they achieved more physical or financial goals.

Despite the way the past year had gone for me, I’ve always tried to uphold a birthday tradition of writing a letter to myself. I started this practice on either my 23rd or 24th birthday as a way to start holding myself accountable in a graceful, but loving way. It’s easy to give others the responsibility of this. At the end of the day though, you know yourself better than anyone else. You know when you’re slacking, or when you just need a break. Letters like these hold a special form of accountability, because no one else but you needs to read them.

Every new year of life is personal for everyone. A lot of memories are created and goals are achieved, but also bumps in the road that were never expected. Some of these bumps end up really taking us off track. 

Writing these letters helped me collect all of the things that occurred during the past year, and reminded me how I was able to overcome them. They’ve also helped me to celebrate all of the beautiful things that happened: trips, meeting new people, and a ton of other experiences. To me, it’s amazing to reflect on where I was exactly one year before writing my letters, and realize how much had changed. It’s never easy to acknowledge the not so great things that happened, but it does make me more appreciative to see another year of life and to get another chance to try again. 

After reading my letter from the previous year, I then sit down and collect my thoughts for how I envision the next year to unfold. I haven’t sat down to write my letter for my 27th year yet, but I do know that two things I want to focus on are balance and having more fun in life. For those of you who know me personally, I tend to have an over-achiever mindset at times. Due to this, I’m extremely hard on myself for falling short of a goal, even when it’s not a huge deal. With this goal of practicing balance and having more fun, I hope that I’m able to remind myself that not everything needs to be tied to a goal or an outcome. To remember that if you’re not having fun on the way to achieving your goals, it makes the process a lot more daunting. Lastly, to remember that at the end of my life, the goals I achieved will likely not be the first things that come to mind, but the beautiful experiences and cherished memories will be. 

One day I hope to read all of my birthday letters and see that everything I saw as either a positive or negative experience, was just part of the journey unfolding.

If you plan to begin this practice for your birthday, I hope that it becomes a tradition you can follow, and a testament to how far you’ve come and how much farther you will go.