During my almost 28 years of life, I’ve always called the northeast my home.

Whether it was my childhood in Northern New Jersey, or college years in Poughkeepsie, New York, this is where I was born and raised, and where I’ve always lived. 

During this time, I’ve also been privileged enough to travel and meet people from all walks of life. People with different careers, family dynamics, backgrounds, and so on. If there’s one thing I’ll pride myself on, it’s my desire to always ask someone questions about themselves and how they got to where they currently are. It has always fascinated me to learn about someone’s journey, their favorite places, or those random hobbies they have that they almost never talk about. 

The more I’ve done this, especially in my adult years, I’ve always walked away from these conversations with some sort of feeling of lack. I would think to myself, “Is there something I’m missing out on?” “Is there some part of life that I haven’t experienced yet?” “Am I falling behind because I haven’t gone to X place or experienced X thing?” These sorts of questions would flood my mind as they rushed in almost instantly. People have always told me that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. But then again, after hearing about all of these adventurous and exciting life stories, it made me question that exact statement: am I really where I’m supposed to be? 

At this stage in life, or in any stage, it’s so easy to get caught in the comparison trap. It’s not only easy, but dangerous, because as long as you’re comparing yourself to someone else, you will never feel like you’re doing enough. Especially with not only living in the Northeast, but also working in NYC for 5 years, the hustle culture is like no other. You’re burning the midnight oil almost daily, and making sure you’re doing whatever it takes to just get shit done. It’s an admirable quality at times, but at other times it makes you question what your true motivation is for doing something. Is it because it’s something you truly want? Or do we just love the thrill of the chase? 

Despite the comparison and insane amounts of pressure we put on ourselves, it’s truly amazing how many milestones we’re constantly achieving as a collective. We always want to progress. To achieve more, do more, and be more. I find myself in this thought loop constantly, as I’m always looking for ways to progress myself forward and be a better version of me. 

However, the same way I tend to ask others so many questions, I asked myself a different set of questions: while progress is a good thing, does it rob me of gratitude for the present moment? If I’m always looking for the next best thing, will I ever be satisfied with what I have? How can I reach another goal, if I never sit and reap the benefits of achieving a current goal? Would I be okay if nothing changes? 

That last question hit me pretty hard. It brought me to a place in my mind where I had to be truly honest with myself and ask – if my life remained exactly how it is right now, could I still find a way to be happy? As quickly as my mind wanted to shout “no” due to my ego and constant search for change, I settled on “yes” and I realized that I could be okay with that. 

It’s not good to stay stagnant, but it’s also not good to constantly search for the next best thing that you can’t ever truly have gratitude for where you currently are. In the happiness, the laughs, joys, disappointments, sorrows and confusions of right now. 

I personally have just begun to realize how quickly time passes and how temporary everything is. That amazing conversation I had with a friend, that really bad day I had where I felt that nothing was getting better, all gone. Yet, I’ve spent so much time putting pressure on myself for not being at a certain place in life, or disappointed in something that didn’t go as “planned,” that I never stopped to learn and teach myself to just be okay right now. 

So now, knowing how quickly time passes, maybe I could make a better effort to remain grateful for right now. To not rush to the next moment, without fully living the current one. To not be so mean to myself because I’m not at a certain point in my life yet. To realize that if nothing changes, that I could still be happy. As long as I’m not causing deliberate harm to anyone or to myself, I could find gratitude in knowing that just like I’ve been told before, I really am exactly where I’m supposed to be.