It’s always fascinated me how we could all be in a similar physical space but have totally different experiences.

The moment one person is experiencing the most joy and happiness, another is experiencing immense grief and sadness. One person may be extremely tired and burnt out, while the other is filled with life and energy.

2023 felt like a whirlwind to put it lightly. As I begin to wrap up 2023 and I discuss what it was to me with family and friends, I use the same words to describe it every single time. “I feel like I’ve lived three years in one.” To expand on that, I feel as if so many parts of me have died this year, along with exponential amounts of rebirths. I guess that’s the funny thing about growth. We talk about it all the time and we seek opportunities to be the catalyst for that growth, whether it be jobs, relationships, friends, community circles, hobbies, etc. “I want to do X because I know it’ll help me grow.” Except when we choose a certain thing, it’s not that one quick moment that enables your growth, its all the moments that come after.

For me, that moment came when I decided that I wanted to experience living alone and fully providing for myself. I had always told myself that I wanted to live alone before living with a long-term partner for at least one year. This would give me the chance to really get to know myself, my habits, and who I really am before having to share such close, intimate space with another person. Looking back on this year, I was first a bit down on myself for not having accomplished much aside from moving out. I was then reminded how much weight that really holds and how it’s a huge accomplishment. Having to adjust your to do’s to make sure you’re taken care of and that everything is the way you want it on a day-to-day basis. Along with this, I had to learn about my own limits when it came to when I’m too physically or emotionally spent to go out and when I really needed to dial into some self-care. Even the opposite when I’ve been a couch potato for too long and I need to go exercise, train, call a friend, or spend some time with my family. It’s all a slippery slope since we’re constantly changing and our day to day isn’t always the same, which is also why having some sort of self-discipline and accountability is important.

For me, that’s what was probably the biggest gift I could have given myself now that I’m living alone – I’ve been able to cut out any and all excuses I’ve made in life thus far. While certain things may have occurred that were outside of my control, it really is up to me to change the things I’m unhappy with. In the past, I could have easily blamed it on my surroundings or other people, but being alone – there was no one else there with me except myself.

If you’re reading this, you may not be in a similar life stage where you’re living alone for the first time. You may be living with your parents, partner, kids, or any combination of those. While I may have experienced a lot of self-reflection this year, you may have experienced some sort of physical life change. Maybe you got to travel to a new place, meet new people, or maybe things stayed stagnant. Maybe this year was a year of processing grief or loss, that required a lot of rest. Maybe it was a year when you really put your head down, put the work in, and really focused on your dreams and goals.

Whatever this year may have looked like for you, be gentle with yourself and remember that while we’re all getting the same 24 hours, those hours aren’t always filled with similar experiences and that doesn’t make yours any less significant. This time next year, your life can look and feel very different if that’s what you desire and what you will allow. From the outside, life doesn’t look totally different than it did a year ago for me, but I know I’m ten times the person that I once was. It wasn’t because of one small moment, but all of those after. My catalyst was cultivating my own space and giving myself the time and investment to become who I want to be. What will be your catalyst?